35th entry ~ February 21, 2024

Today was the third session with my speech pathologist, following activation of my cochlear implant on December 5th, some eleven weeks ago (11 weeks and 1 day). Since the previous session two weeks ago, I have not practiced the word/sentence lists that she gave me – not even once. I have, though, been practicing my own sentence list, reading aloud with only the cochlear implant, with the hearing aid turned off, still in its case.

Other listening experiences include conversations with friends in small group situations, piano practice at home, listening to news casts and other programs through my laptop speakers or on the car radio, and, yes, even a few telephone calls – all of those with the use of both the implant and the hearing aid. The phone remains my nemesis and I only use it when there is no alternative. As I have learned from other CI users in some of the support groups I belong to, returning to regular phone use is often the last hurdle in our race to improved hearing.

I shared with my speech therapist that I have experienced improved hearing as I practiced piano over the past few weeks. In fact, this coming Sunday I will be playing a beautiful new arrangement of the hymn Wayfaring Stranger, written by David Gale, a composer in Tucson, for the morning worship services at our church.

I have to rely on my hearing aid to get me through the music, though, as I’m still not able to make much sense of music without it. With only the implant in use, music sounds quite strange to me. Even following along in the score of a piece of music while listening to our church choir rehearse, the music often makes no sense to me, and I’ve been unable to understand the directions given by our director. I’m not worried, though; it will get better over time.

As my speech therapist and I reviewed the assignments and practiced a few new ones in her office this morning, I turned my hearing aid off but left it in my ear. Effectively, it functions much like an earplug, so that I am forced to hear only the sounds coming through the implant. My success rate was quite good – I’d say phenomenal, actually – and she was quite pleased. When we finished practicing, we went on to discuss other things. I left my hearing aid turned off.

After a few minutes, I came to the sudden realization that I was, for the very first time, able to carry on a conversation with a person, with very little misunderstanding and relying solely on my implant. This may seem a simple thing to my hearing friends, but for me it is a major step forward in my journey toward better hearing. It provided quite a boost in my self-confidence, certainly.

As I’ve written before, it’s a long and winding road – but it’s getting me where I need to go! I feel like I’ve just rounded a bend in the road and the scenery is pretty nice!

34th entry ~ February 9, 2024

A hearing update (of sorts).

Today, as I walked back up the driveway from the mailbox, I was surprised to hear the retort of a machine gun. It was not close, as it was a faint sound. I stopped to listen and heard it again. "Rat-a-tat-tat! Rat-a-tat-tat!" it went, several times in succession.

I looked all around to see if any of the neighbors were firing at me. None were, thankfully. I observed, however, that a robin was perched atop the tree in our front yard and was singing the song that robins sing so beautifully.

I could SEE that he was singing. I couldn't exactly HEAR his song. It came out "Rat-a-tat-tat! Rat-a-tat-tat!" several times in succession. Yes, Robin Red Breast was manning the machine gun! ☺

This is a new 'listening experience' for me on the cochlear implant journey. I didn't despair that I was hearing percussive shots from a miniature machine gun coming from the beak of this bird. I chuckled a bit, actually, and was pleased that I had heard it at all. That may not seem like much progress to most people, but to me it is another step along this journey to recover some of my ability to hear what's going on around me.

I can't wait to hear what the Cicadapocolypse will sound like later this summer!

33rd entry ~ February 7, 2024

Yesterday afternoon I attended my second speech therapy session, some three weeks after the initial session. I’m to have regularly scheduled sessions every two weeks for three months as part of my agreement with Hearts for Hearing. We had to delay the session a week due to a scheduling problem.

I admitted to the speech pathologist that I’d appeared for the session much like an errant piano student who hasn’t practiced their assigned music since the previous lesson. I’d practiced some, but certainly not every day and, really, not much at all. I fully expected to receive some sort of chastisement after my admission, but she went in a different direction.

She explained that the exercises she assigns me will collectively form a ‘tool box’ for me to use as I continue to experience different listening situations, even after our speech therapy sessions have ended. We worked through some of the exercises and I excelled in each of them, with perfect scores on several and missing one word in a series of words in another. She added an exercise for me to work on these coming two weeks.

Meanwhile, I have been working on my own listening exercises – exercises which she commended me for doing on my own. I have my own list of words (all of them music terms) and a large list of sentences, numbering nearly 400 in all, a mix of old TV advertisements, jingles, children’s songs, pop songs, and the like that I remember from my formative years. I read these aloud to myself a few times a week. Further, I’ve begun to listen to newscasts on my laptop and am able now to understand quite a few more words than I did even two weeks ago. I’m still not fully able to make sense of complete sentences yet, but my understanding is improving little by little.

I mentioned to the speech pathologist that I felt like my overall hearing had dropped in volume quite a bit since the last appointment (three weeks ago). She asked about the settings on my cochlear implant processor. I had no idea how they were set; they were set how the audiologist felt they needed to be. That’s all I knew. She indicated that she’d check it for me before I left – but we got sidetracked and we both forgot about doing that. I was able to check it later using the phone app and I increased the volume level by one notch – and it made a significant difference in my ability to understand myself speaking, reading my list of sentences aloud (using only the implant, without the use of the hearing aid in the other ear).

Tonight was our weekly church choir rehearsal. Since my cochlear implant was activated (Dec. 5^th, some nine weeks ago), I have attended most rehearsals and have treated them like a listening exercise. I have been sitting apart from the choir and following along in the musical score as the choir rehearses. At the beginning, it was exceedingly frustrating – and quite discouraging for me, actually. This evening, though, I felt confident enough to return to my seat in the bass section of the choir. At first I was just going to sit there and follow along in the music as I have been doing – but I felt like I was hearing the music well enough that I could sing along. For the most part, I sang well and stayed on pitch. I sang rather quietly, though, so I could hear as much of the piano and the voices around me as possible. Whenever I lost that ability, and I did several times, I kept silent until such time as my hearing devices (and my brain) were able to help me make sense of the sound once again.

To be clear, my ability to hear and make sense of musical sound has not fully returned – not at all. I have a long, long way to go before I can make such a claim. I practiced piano today with only the CI in use, and I was unable to make any sense of the sound at all. With my hearing aid working, though, I am able to play fairly well and have learned a new piece that I will play at church one of these days (fairly soon, I hope). I’m nowhere near ready to accompany a complete church service, but I think I could handle providing the ‘special music’ now and then.

This report is not written to say I am back amongst the hearing folks or that I have my hearing back. Not at all – far from it! This adjustment to the CI processor enabled another small step forward in my progress to regain some of my ability to understand speech. The rehab work I do at Hearts for Hearing is specifically to help me regain speech recognition and understanding. That is what cochlear implants are designed to do. Any improvement in musical understanding is totally a side benefit and can only be achieved by following the age-old admonition that music teachers tell their students every week; it’s the same as the answer to the question asked on the streets of New York City every day – “How do you get to Carnegie Hall?” The answer: “Practice man, practice!”