Palm Sunday, March 24th, was a bad hearing day for me. I didn’t realize it until the first notes were sounded during our church choir warm-up rehearsal in preparation for the anthem. The piano accompaniment sounded distant and faint – I could barely hear it – and when it was time for my section’s entrance, I was unable to determine the pitch for my starting note. I was unable, for the most part, to hear the singers on either side of me. The music made no sense at all. I excused myself from the choir and sat elsewhere during that early service – I didn’t even remain in the sanctuary, but went and sat by myself.
The situation was the very same later that morning at the beginning of the second service. I sat apart from the choir, but remained in the sanctuary, unable to tell much about what was going on around me, except for visual clues. I could communicate with friends if they were “right up close” to me, but I mostly felt like a bump on a log that morning. I thought of an old song:
♫ Momma said there’ll be days like this. There’ll be days like this, my momma said. ♫
Yesterday, March 26th, was my second cochlear implant (CI) mapping session. “Mapping” is the term often used to describe the various adjustments made to the CI processor in order to maximize the signals received by the implant and sent to the brain for interpretation as sound. At this visit, I was asked to undergo a few tests in the sound booth prior to the adjustments, in order for the audiologist to better know what sort of tweaks to make. The tests were for my implanted ear; the other ear was isolated and “turned off,” to the extent possible.
I did amazingly well in the “threshold” test, done to see the levels at which I am able to detect sound through the device. That test consisted of a series of quiet beeping sounds at varying pitch levels and timbres. My ability to be aware of sounds, however quiet, placed me near the normal range of hearing.
Other tests included repeating words and sentences. I did rather poorly on those, with only minimal improvement since before I received the CI. As those tests proceeded, I knew I was doing poorly, unable to understand some words – and most sentences. After my poor hearing experience on Sunday, I felt pretty awful as the tests proceeded. I knew the results would not be good – and they weren’t.
As we discussed the results of the tests and began to adjust the CI, I mentioned to the audiologist that in my speech therapy sessions I’ve had trouble distinguishing between the “sss” and “shh” sounds – information that she needed to know as she worked to improve the settings on the CI. I’d complained that everything seemed fairly quiet and mentioned that I had increased the volume by one notch a few weeks ago (from 7 to 8, with 10 being the maximum).
I was a bit frustrated during the mapping, because after each adjustment the sound of her voice and any environmental sounds in her office were basically unchanged. I don’t know what she did, but on the last adjustment, suddenly the sound was drastically improved – significantly louder and with better clarity of speech. After another couple of tweaks, that setting was saved and will be my “default mode” for another three months, until my next mapping session.
From the audiologist’s office, I went to the speech pathologist’s office. I did rather well with the exercises, repeating words and sentences after her, as she read them with her mouth covered (so I’d get no help from lip reading). The best thing from that session happened when she said to me, “When you strain to listen, you are putting your implanted ear toward me.” That’s a major step forward. Always before, I have leaned into a conversation with my hearing aid. Now it is apparent that I am beginning to rely more on my CI than on my hearing aid – and that’s a good thing!
Tonight is our weekly choir rehearsal, the last one before our Good Friday and Easter services. I’m anxious to know what sense I will be able to make of the music. Hopefully, I’ll be able to hear as much improvement in understanding music as I did in understanding speech. I’ve not yet sat down at my piano; I’m hopeful that I’ll hear significant improvement there, too.
I’m almost four months into this, having had the CI activated on December 5th. The team at Hearts for Hearing in Oklahoma City reminded me that my progress is good and that it’s often a lengthy period of rehabilitation. I knew that even before I agreed to undergo the surgery. I know I am making progress, however slow it sometime seems. I’m reminded of another old song:
♫ Put one foot in front of the other and soon you’ll be walking out the door! ♫
